BURGERSFORDESSERT

Four More

2008-11-29T05:20:00.000-08:00

Reasons Montreal does not suck:

(J'ai oublier my camera so I stole from the internet):

Last night at La Sala Rossa:

Accompanied by talented poster artist/music afficionado
Tyler K. Rauman
I recently spoke with someone in New York about freelance music scouting in Montreal. She suggested that I look in the "Alt Weekly" newspaper for shows, though in this city it's hardly necessary. There is a great poster art culture that stems from the music scene here and one needs only to wander the length of a city block to find shows on any given day of the week.
Amazing, printed, collaged and hand drawn posters advertising bands, shows and venues plaster every lampost on Saint Laurent and most are half-peeled from passer-bys like myself who appreciate and admire the work that goes into this great art form.

It seems every artist is a musician and vice versa in Montreal ... and there's a healthy dose of friendly competition in the streets to keep it killer in CA.

(look for Tyler at Expozine this weekend...he's fantsy):

Dans La Rue

2008-11-22T06:32:00.000-08:00

things I've seen in, about, around Montreal this week:

Screening at Concordia's Cinema Politica of
Roadsworth: Crossing the Line,

a documentary on the rise of fame of street stencil artist and reluctant hero Peter Gibson after his arrest in Montreal and subsequent commissions by the very city that had admonished his work. I just wonder how much lasting power the actual taboo of this stuff really has and once it's gone what the next step in subversive art will be?

Jamie Campbell at Galerie Push
Walking by, I saw the photos in the gallery window, decided to pop and had a really nice chat with Director Megan Bradley about the artist and how easily we relate to oversized donkey heads.

PERDU!
Sign for a lost walrus-looking parrot posted by the bus stop.
Everyday I scan the treetops . . . looking for Lewis

Good Willing It

2008-11-21T11:01:00.000-08:00

I really think shopping at Goodwill may the closest thing to a religious experience I've ever had.

Have you ever noticed the completely Zen nature Salvation Army seems to posess? Am I the only one who, on a really shitty day on the brink of a nervous break down, can be transformed in to a relaxed, calm bundle of love after just 30 minutes in a thrift store?

I'm not sure if its the anonymity one is able to maintain between racks of polyester and bad jeans, the thrill of the hunt for one decent, truly vintage t-shirt or the humor and humility of looking at other peoples' old shit but there's something about second-hand shopping that makes me feel really ... happy.

I love the eighties skirt suits, the fake fur, the cheap, trashy department store stuff that faded and lost shape after just a few months of diligent wear. I love the bad cd's, that one box of tapes in mismatched cases and the small stack of 8tracks. I love the the horribly cheesy vinyl jacket covers ... and I love watching other people sift through them. I love the old illustrated science books and encyclopedias (but have yet to see a fullset). I especially love the coffee mugs. Flowers, stripes, "Somebody in Idaho Loves you" and all that.

I'm actually not terribly interested in the stories or histories and don't spend a lot of time picturing the previous owners but am drawn to the objects themselves in the context of the bin they're in or the rack they hang on. I like they way they look stacked, toppled, overturned, crumpled up, unzipped, half-hung, incomplete, out of order.

It's a great lesson in appreciating odd beauty even if something is ripped or fucked up, finding redeeming qualities in any forgotten piece of crap and allowing something to exist in the present without any precondition. As is. No Exchanges. No Refunds.

I kind of think friends should be like that,
not so easily tossed aside and forgotten.

Goodwill thinks so too.

plus sweaters make me think of hugs. And that's a good thing...

Staying Gainfully Unemployed

2008-11-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

If you'll kindly recall my innaugral post of oh so many (three) months ago I had moved to New York with blind ambition to stroll into a really fucking cool art gallery and land a job where I could waste my days away looking at interesting things and meeting interesting people, talking shit about Bad Art and schmoozing with kids who make Good Art, all while ideally maintaining the requisite 5 or 6 hours a day I need to waste online from behind a comfy reception desk. I thought it'd be easy because, for three years, I was a Professional Time Waster at a gallery in Los Angeles. I was hopelessly addicted to Ebay, Perez Hilton and could, in one day, watch three feature length films (a record achievement envied by gallery sitters nationwide).

I assumed, if anything, I was overqualified.

Not so.

For some reason, not a single gallery director seemed to think that my non-existent fine art sales record, the year I spent basically fucking around in Seoul and traveling all over Asia, the fact that I didn't know a single critic from the New York Times, New Yorker, New York Magazine, or my lack of familiarity with every fucking 22 year old painter getting crapped out of the bottomless bowels RISD, Parsons or NYU would benefit their fine establishment.

What a bunch of pretentious jerks, eh?

So. I'd like to share with you, dear reader, some of the amazing occupations and projects I've pursued, stumbled upon, been forced into (or at least considered) to tide myself over financially..and sometimes just for fun.

1. "City Of Others"
In Los Angeles I was approached in a bar in Silverlake to model for a new denim company's Spring 09 lookbook. Sounds kind like the classic "I was discovered on the street one day...." scenario, and it was. I showed up at a sketchy warehouse downtown with stylists, makeup artists, models, photographers running around like crazy, loud music blaring, set light lights burning, cool people dressed cool acting cool. The whole deal. I was a little nervous and probably cracked some really dumb jokes. Well, the lookbook was just published on the company's website and looks AMAZING really "hip" and "urban" ... except one model is suspiciously missing from the collection. That's right, yours truly had officially made the Cutting Room Floor. But I got paid cash and six weeks later they mailed me a pair of jeans (which I sold at Beacon's Closet).
$100 cash
$25 for the Jeans

2. "Rumspringa Break"
Also in Los Angeles, two dear friends in Venice were filming a series of web TV episodes they had written about a young Amish guy who, during his Rumspringa, ends up in all kinds of wacky, hilariously stereotypical "LA" scenarios. I was cast, appropriately, as the "Hipster Chick".

My role? To dress "Ironically" and act "Pretentious."

We filmed all day in Venice near the boardwalk and in a gallery in Santa Monica. It was a bright sunny summer day and the guys were literally pulling people off the streets to be extras. It was fun to see two friends working really hard on such a great, creative thing. I was really proud to be a part of it even though it was the longest day of filming ever. I'm not an actress and am not used to waiting around for hours for shit happen. So that part sucked.
Don't tell anyone else, but I got paid, too.
$100

Hare Krishna parade in Venice the day of filming

3. "Wear a Corset ... and body paint"
My friend Monica is a stylist and photographer. She's working on some projects and asked me to model for some photos. I agreed for the hell of it. We set up an impromptu studio in her house in Santa Monica one afternoon. We drank lemonade and ate Trader Joes pizzas and talked about life and junk. Here's one of the photos (scandalous!):

Photo by Monica Diventi

Compensation: $0, good conversation and some seriously hot pictures of ma'boobs.

4. "Nanny"
Before leaving Seoul in July I had this great notion of living with my sister in Illinois, getting back to my roots and reconnecting with Family and All Things American. I left LA and flew to Chicago and took a train to Rockford to settle in. I had a blast with my little niece drawing, taking walks, making lunch, chillin in the backyard. It was great to be in a real Home, having real Meals and being able to hang out with my beautiful sister and her family.

This lasted 10 days.

Then I got an offer to assist on a photo project with a friend in New York.

BUT before I packed my bags yet again I had the opportunity to collaborate with the young, talented Rosalie Johnson-Doyle on a project I call "Bunny and the Band do Menomena."

It was an honor work with Ms. Rosie and I hope to join forces again one day:
Compensation: $0, lots of "Awwwwe!!'s from Mom and Dad Johnson-Doyle

5. Photo Assistant for Nang Brookie P'Artie Productions
(a working title...)
This was the impetus for moving to New York in the first place. My friend Art (who you may know from such adventures as That Time I was in New York on Business and We Partied our Faces OFF or That Time we Almost Died in Bangkok or That Time Art Flew to LA for His Birthday and we Drank Champagne and Drove a fucking TUNDRA).

So. I had a place to stay and a gig in Brooklyn. Mostly Art did all the running around and attended all the meetings with the jewelry designer whose work we were supposed to shoot for her website. I just styled the fuck out of some necklaces and earrings, tried to keep everything in focus, haphazardly edited a few files and bitched about why it was taking so long.
It was way fun. We shot in Jane's studio (where scotch was always in abundance) and also in the bathroom of Art's apartment. The final result:
PURE GENIUS

Compensation: I'm not really sure yet....maybe like $500 bucks? And a rad time with my friend Ahhhhhhtie!!

6. Buffalo Rising
We started a band, too:

Photoshoot!

Video by Artie Boonparn

Music Video!
Compensation: hours of entertainment, songs to sing while stumbling home

7. Let's see...wow, I haven't even gotten to the craigslist stuff yet!!
Here's a quick rundown:

Hair Show Model
Compensation: $250 and a Mullet

Mexican Restaurant Waitress
Compensation: Tips from the pool and bottomless Margaritas.

Chinese Restaurant Phone Order Taker:
Compensation: 10$/hour and free plates of slimy rice at the end of the night.

Furniture Mover, Estate Sale Assistant
Compensation: 10$/hour and free shit

ADs I've Replied to:
English Telesales Agent
Pop Culture Blogger
Music Scout
Montessori School Teacher
CoatCheck
Film Extra
Editor
Consultant
Executive Assistant
Fine Art Archivist
Art Handler
Registrar
and ... of course Gallery Assistant (x about 57)

That's it for now....I've been on more bunk interviews than I can count, replied to more scam messages and have gotten a few laughs of the shit people try to get away with .

If nothing else it's all a great study of the human condition, kind of a sociological experiment in instability ...

God bless craigslist.

Montreal

2008-11-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

Montreal may be the greatest city on Earth.

I say that because this is the city I happen to find myself living in for the moment, and don't really have a choice but to believe its just that wonderful. If I doubted it, I'd have to pack up and move again (and that's getting a bit old).

To support my claim I offer the following evidence:

1. Its gorgeous. Goooorgeous. Strip clubs and ancient cathedrals happily coexist on the streets, the graffitti is bananas (and seems to stay intact, nobody really messes with the good stuff), its clean as hell ... the air, everything. I can breathe. I don't have to step over knee-high piles of trash to cross the street. There are neighborhoods brimming over with history and charm, some houses are completely nuts and the mountains serve as a great reminder you are on the brink of some crazyinsane Quebec wilderness.

2. There's cool shit going on. ALL the time.
There's cool shit going in every great city, but the quality of music and art I've seen here is amazing. It's not too saturated of a scene, and there's a sincerity to it you just don't get in New York or LA. If you ask somebody about their store or band, or photos or installation it seems they are happy to engage without any extra air of "this is the SHIT and I did it first..."
For some reason going to shows here is way more fun:

3. And then there are the Bagels ... and everything else:

Street Fashion Smashion

2008-10-17T12:44:00.000-07:00

New York, as everyone knows, is a way too cool for school kind of city. People constantly check each other out and assess one another in the street. Like openly glance you head to toe to see what shoes, jeans, vintage, designer shit you're wearing (or not). Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg is a veritable runway packed with 20 somethings; everybody's a fucking freelance graphic designer, tragically trendy (yet oddly uniform) and a little too beautiful.

Its a little annoying.

BUT I found that if you randomly ask someone to make Bat Glasses so you can take their picture, it almost automatically shatters that force field of overly conscientious coolness....the range of reactions is awesome and all of a sudden it doesn't matter what you're wearing.

No, I do not work for Vice and can not make you famous. Sorry.
http://batglasses.blogspot.com/

In other news

2008-10-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

Here is an extremely disturbing photo of a lion riding a horse. Neither looks too thrilled:

That is all.

Worship

2008-10-04T13:51:00.000-07:00

Doug Aitken:

Very nice.

Also (speaking of the imminent death of irony): On the "hollowness" of fame, false beauty standards, celebrity worship and everything else wrong with the world:

Marc Quinn:

"The sculpture, which is hollow, weighs about as much as the supermodel herself according to the artist, and is believed to be the largest gold statue made in the world since Ancient Egyptian times.

Quinn said of his choice of Moss as a subject: "I thought the next thing to do would be to make a sculpture of the person who's the ideal beauty of the moment.

But even Kate Moss doesn't live up to that."

And, finally, FutureClaw (skip the fashion editorials and the wire thing just flip to the Aurel Schmidt page...she's amazing)

New York is WEAK

2008-10-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

It's 65 degrees Farenheit in the city today.

65 .... NOT 35.

I've seen way too many leather jackets, scarves, wool hats, boots and down jackets to buy into the notion that New York is the tough-as-shit city everyone wants to believe.

Weak. No wonder everyone bitches about the winters here because they start dressing for it in the Summer.

(now watch me start praying for sun in about a month, frozen tears of humility sliding down my face ....i know, i know.)

Dear "Joe Six-Pack"

2008-10-03T20:03:00.000-07:00

Don't fall for it....go rub one off on the "Hockey Mom" sitting at your own "Kitchen Table." Not a potential VP.

Pretty Please.

I've heard more than once in the past five weeks "Well...she IS kind of..hot."

What. WHAT? People (men?) are actually falling for this shit?

Another conversation I had with two male friends recently:

GUY 1: I met Patty Smith backstage last nite, it was pretty cool....
ME: WOW, that's actually amazing!
GUY 2: Does she really have huge boobs?
GUY 1: I couldn't really tell.... but yeah, she's supposed to have big tits
GUY 2: Yeah, but she always wears those baggy shirts so.....
ME: Jesus, this woman is an incredible artist and has accomplished so much and all you can think of are her breasts? Fuck man...
GUY 1: Wait I have naked picture of her on my mantle go check it out.

Well, if that's all it takes I should be way famous and totally respected* by now.

*this is by no means an attempt to draw parallels between sarah palin and patti smith or to say that sarah palin should be respected as a politician. only to point out the general, unwarranted sexualization of prominent female figures in the public from music to politics.

The Mickey Mouse Gun Club

2008-09-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

I read a fake advertisement for a non-existent art school in a paper out of LA whose name I don't remember right now. I cut it out and threw the paper away. Don't worry, I recycled.

It's meant to be a cutting, satyrical knock on contemporary pop/street art.

And it went something like this (by Josh Herman):

"ITT Technical Institutes: Urban Art Associates Degree.
Taught by Mr. Brainwash (MBW)

Subject Matter:
a)MODIFY A POP CULTURE ICON
MBW took Barack Obama, Spock and John McCain
and painted them in a Marilyn Monroe wig.
Bonus points: this had originally been done by Andy Warhol,
then appropriated by Banksy.
Students will learn how to randomly place
a bouquet of popular images into a hat,
randomly pick two, then combine

b)MODIFY A CLASSIC ICON
MBW printed giclees of Paul Cezannes self portrait (c.1878)
then added Burger King paraphernalia (c.2008).
Students will master the equation:
Setting + Objects that don't belong in the setting = irony. Irony sells.

c)PRESIDENT BUSH
Do whatever.
Make him look old.
Make him look young.
Draw him out of bombs .
A republican? Simply put up a pro-Bush wheat poster about his accomplishments
and people will think you're being - that's right - ironic.

The Medium is the Mess
The pros and cons of stickers, wheat posters & stencil graffiti will be discussed.
New technologies, such as electric billboards
and actually learning how to paint or design, will be explored..."

So. There you have it. I laughed out loud when I read this because the artists dissed in the article are ones I've, you know, actually been in to. But the points made kind of rang true. The question now is...What's Next? If Punk's Not Dead, is Using Irony as a Crutch for Intellectualism??

I've had several conversations recently with friends, artists, artist-friends and friends named Art on just this subject. How much longer will irony be held as the highest form of Low Art (or the lowest form of High Art...?) How many propaganda posters can one artist crank out before becoming the machine they abhor?

I just watched Beautiful Losers, a documentary on the street/graffiti phenomena in New York during 90s (focusing on a select few and a certain style), how it started, how these artists found each other, how they make art and why. It was (I believe) an honest, inspiring look at this great idea of basically doing whatever the fuck you want. "Smash the System" and all that.

It sounds good and they got famous doing it.
So what's the problem?
Duchamp did it, too.

Discuss.

DAY 98

2008-09-16T22:15:00.000-07:00

TO DO:

Wake up and try to remember that dream.
Put on t shirt.
Make tea.
Stare at computer.

Decide between:
1. Spending hours scouring the same websites for jobs, sending follow-up emails, tweak resume for the 1000th time

2. Go Adventuring

3. Find the nearest, darkest bar to sit in and get supremely drunk
out of self-pity

Today I opted for #2.

I saw:
Louise Bourgeois at the Guggenheim

Olafur Eliasson's "Waterfalls" from the Brooklyn Bridge

And an old friend from my hometown.

Some days it's totally worth it to leave the house.

TV

2008-09-16T03:10:00.000-07:00

I haven't owned a television set for maybe five or six years. Partially because I am cool. And partially because I travel a lot and they are too heavy and awkward to put in my suitcase.

Last nite, after a Tom Waits and Thai dinner party, a friend invited the crew over to watch TV. Really, that was the invitation, "Come over and watch TV!"

I happily obliged. I like hanging out, and tv sounded...good.

We watched:

"I wanna be Paris' New Best Friend"
"New York in Hollywood"

and

"Cops"

I watch a lot of internet TV and have never seen these shows before.

I noticed some things:

1. The simpler an idea for a reality show, the more confusing the episodes are. There's a lot of talking about nothing, then nothing happens and then somebody throws a chair or cries.
I, um, like, don't get it.

2. Popular, celebrated entertainers in our country are completely dull when they're not, well, entertaining. Maybe its the heavy prescription drugs or maybe they're really just average people with talented (?) stylists and managers.

3. Exploiting average people with enormous insecurities, psychological problems or drug addictions makes the average person watching tv feel either:
A. Completely Superior
B. A little Better about themselves
C. Sad and slightly awkward
D. Want to be on TV too

Also, exploitation = profit

I might be a little slow on the uptake. I know this has been going on for awhile now, but it's a little alarming that the momentum is actually building.

I turned to my friends at the end of our TV Party and muttered stupidly,
"Whoa...I ....think tv ....was made... to keep people dumb..."

They replied, equally stupified,
"Yeaaah......"

On the hunt for a J.O.B. in N.Y.C.

2008-09-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

Hi.
I just moved to New York.
I sleep on my friend's couch and do nothing all day.
I walk around, drink coffee, go adventuring,
and then meet one of the few friends I have
and try to get drunk on as little cash as possible.
I need a job.
Everyday I scour the classifieds, send out a few resumes,
do a little follow-up and then wait for THE call.
It's been 15 days and 14 resumes, 1 interview,
and approximately 547 "hey, my friend works at Urban Outfitters,
maybe they can get a job or something...."
Which is great, but I'm feeling rather ambitious
and not ready to settle for much less than complete, sparkling
Gallerist Extraordinaire success.
What I've got on paper sounds good. Really REALLY good.
So I'm pissed I'm still unemployed (I like things to happen, like, instantly).

The past few years I've done some pretty amazing things in my life but way before that I was kind of a fuck-up. This is what my resume would have looked like in high school:

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing with great interest in the position posted on craigslist.org. I am lazy, stubborn, and unqualified but totally broke and desperate. A long, exhaustive list of my past experiences follows:

Hippie co-op Bulk Food Bagger:
-Listen to NPR and the same Misfits tape over and over
-Scoop flour from really big sacks into smaller sacks
-Lie through my teeth about my knowledge of various vitamins and supplements
-Pretend not to notice my friends stealing fruit leathers and organic ginger ale

Greasy "Country Kitchen" Restaurant Dishwasher/Deep Fried Food Engineer:
-Watch the dishes pile up, ignore them, recruit the Samoan guy to help me do damage control
-Steal cokes
-Take about three cigarette breaks an hour
-Burn face and hands in deep fryer

Blimpies Sandwich Maker:
-Trade sandwiches for tacos with the girl at the Taco Johns counter
-Slice thumb on meat slicer,fail to inform customer there may or may not be a chunk of skin in their sandwich

Red Barn Theatre Popcorn Maker:
-Steal candy
-Draw lewd pictures and naughty words on the wall
-Fend off older sister's creepy boyfriend

Wal-Mart Drone:
-Get busted stealing lipgloss three days after getting hired. (Looking back this is actually a really good thing)

Tree Trimmer:
-Roll out to the tree fields about noon. meet josh and the rest of the guys
-Smoke pot and play hacky sack for about 3 hours
-Cut the tips off a couple trees
-Go home smoke more pot
-Lie about how many hours we worked

Neese Theater Ticket Hawker:
-Sell tickets to shitty college productions at my tiny liberal arts school

Gallery Intern/Bitch:
-Sweep the floor. Take out the trash.
-Get threatened by an artist for not wanting to pose nude. Leave the gallery in tears.
-Throw my drink on said artist at a bar the following week

Crappy Retail Chain I'm Too Embarrassed to Name:
-Wear a completely demeaning and useless headset
-Clean out dressing rooms that smell like rotting feet
-Fold the same t-shirts 20 times a day

Scuzzy Italian Joint Waitress:
-Wrestle rowdy after bar crowds to the soundtrack of Pink Floyd
-Referee screaming matches between waitresses on the floor
-Pocket dozens of business cards and "demo" cds from people planning on making it really big in "the business" (I still can't figure out what they thought a disgruntled waitress could do for them)
-Walk out in the middle of a shift and lose half a week's paycheck

But *now* in my mature, mid (em, late) 20s I'm an independent, world-traveling, art-savvy, multi-tasking, project managing machine with loads of artsy-fartsy, fancy-pants experience.

Or, at least, I'm getting better at faking it . . .